Saturday, 29 January 2011

The New Year

Today is 26th of January, which is a bit late for me to bid farewell to 2010 and write anything about the New Year. However this new year is somewhat the most memorable to me. Know what? I did the countdown together with all the new faces I just know for a week, and it was in a place that I’ve been missing so much throughout 2009 and 2010.

Few of my old friends, including this one girl asked,

“Sri, how is it so far? Your study and new friends…happy?”

I replied:

“So far so great!”

And I know how much I had surprised ‘her’ with my very cool expression. She was the one who knows very much about the hardship that I’ve been through before and I know sometimes the stories that I kept telling her are so tiring..hehheh. I ‘was’ tired too!

She asked me about ‘that’ thing…and Alhamdulillah, surprisingly for the 1st time in my life I sounded so tough while answering that question. I smiled, not a fake one, I swear! And she stared in wonder at me. I said, “Look, I’m superbly ok!” and she was like, “Sri, I’m so glad…since when?”

Simply, “since I’m here” (-_^)

I should thank the MPP and all the PMs as well as the VC for what they had done throughout the MDS. They made me ‘whole’ again…and I eventually know what am I coming for. I turned to be the host of a remedied soul and spirit. I got back my passion!

About the countdown part, well it was nobody’s plan. We were in the hall since 8.00 p.m. and the event lasted for quite a long period. Towards its end, there was something I like the most about MDS. The PMs and MPP switched the mode of that night. From a heavenly laughter-filled hall, they switched off the lights and played a sentimental video which reminded us about…urghh…well, parents. And tell me who can prevent him/herself from crying??? They talked about our roles, obligations and responsibilities as a student, a son/daughter, and as a UiTMian…

In that very dark hall, with all the tears rolling down everyone’s cheeks, suddenly we heard a soft whispering sound of a group singing. I caught it:

“wujudmu di sini di tanah anak merdeka…bagai obor ilmu memayungi putera-puterinya…pelopor hidup budaya bangsa…agama Negara….pembentuk akhlak manusia agar jadi sempurna…..

Ku yang melangkah ke sini ingin mempelajari….rahsia di muka bumi dengan cara hakiki…tunjukkan aku jalan ilmumu untuk ku menuju…destinasi cita-cita Negara dan bangsaku”

Together with the song, we watched a strand of dim lights entering the hall through the main entrance. It was a group of people-the MPP members and all the PMs-marching very slowly and each one of them was holding a lighted candle. The song continued in a low tone, the marching proceeded, until everyone in the group arrived at the stage. We could hardly listen to anything else other than their very soft voices singing the song.

The blowing off of the candles signified the end of their role in giving direct guidance and monitoring us. It signified the beginning of our campus life….

I closed my eyes…and deep within my heart…..

~Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim…..all the sorrows blew away, all the sadness will be left aside, and all the negativities faded away together with the candle lights. Enough with the immobility, I’m done with that all and I’m alive.~

~…and I’m gonna lit up a new candle in my heart…~

2010, my ‘tahun air mata’ ended with that thought. The moment we were about to leave the hall, I heard males’ voices counting, “10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1……..”

There, we rejoiced together…as the students of UiTM(dihatiku), anticipating a brighter tomorrow….

and 2011 has been beautifully started with a rejuvenated mind and an exhilarated passion.

أللهم إني أعوذبك من الهم والحزن, وأعوذبك من العجز والكسل

*I can’t perfectly illustrate what I felt that night..but it was really something truly beautiful and unforgettable*

Alhamdulillah….and I’ll keep this promise: I’ll work harder =)

6 p.m. 26/o1/2011

'Hotel' Mawar, Shah Alam

Thursday, 20 January 2011

~my new path~

بسم الله الزحمن الحيم

Masih lagi terkial-kial buat latihan Prices...dua kali ulang jawab 3 soalan yg sama. Kali pertama jwb dlm kelas, tgn kanan menulis & tekan kalkulator sambil tgn kiri menyelak2 nota En Ahamad. We were like, "ok, nak include cost ape lg?"
Biasala tu kot...struggling to get familiar with all the terms, labour constant etc. Kali kedua cuba lg skali dlm bilik. Alhamdulillah kali ni tak perlu selak nota lagi (sebab b4 buat tu dah cuba digest example2 yg diberi).

One thing I have to admit, otak tak lagi selaju dulu menangkap ilmu2 baru. Bermakna usaha perlu berganda2 sebab yg diajar pun bukan lg ilmu darjah satu. Masih ingat betapa cuaknya nak test economy. Walaupun subjek tu takde calculation2 maut, tp economy is something very new to me. Even though Puan Aina dah terangkan sehabis baik, dah faham tp tetap juga rasa tak cukup hadam betul2 n belum betul2 lekat dlm otak. Sudahnya naik lunyai jugak le nota tu dikerjakan, berconteng sana-sini dgn mcm2 kaler selama hampir seminggu. Alhamdulillah hasilnya, satisfactory. Well done n congrats juga buat Husna n Lily. It's such a good start for us all...lepas ni kena maintain, insyaAllah..=)

Ada lg yg menagih attention. Drawing2 yg di'hadiah'kan oleh Encik Ridza tu...makan masa juga rasanya nak faham. Nasib baik la lecturer sorang ni ringan mulut, kaki & tangan untuk membantu. Such an advantage juga bila ada Husna di sebelah yg tentunya dah biasa mengadap drawing2 tu. Banyak dia tolong...tq Husna..=)

So far, kelas Const-tech mmg sgt best! Belajar melukis sambil dengar lawak2 Encik Ridza yg berisi dan selalu juga terkena sipi2....hehe...seronok!

Selain Encik Ridza, Prof Hanafiah pun banyak mengingatkan. Paling kerap ditekankan,
"jangan gelap mata, because sometimes you guys will have to deal with projects worth up to millions of dollars..and if you are in a firm of consultancy, you'll be surprised by what the contractors are willing to do for you either to win the tender or to get their payment earlier."
Konklusinya, selain belajar all the QS things, perlu juga mantapkan iman "so that all of you nanti akan jd QS yang tak menggadai prinsip dan agama semata-mata kerana duit"

"Nak jadi kaya, boleh... in fact, jadi QS biasanya memang sronok buat duit...tp ikutla jalan yang betul. Biarlah jalan tu panjang sikit asalkan nanti xdelah rasa tak sedap hati bila nak bagi mak ayah guna duit kamu utk pergi haji. Lepas tu jangan pula lupa nak kongsi rezeki yang Allah bagi dgn orang lain lebih2 lagi yg seagama"

3 years time seems to be not long enough to get ourselves prepared to become what Prof Hanafiah wants us to be. But insyaAllah, we'll be together to make it sufficient..=)

Surprisingly, tiba2 dtg keberanian untuk buat timeline targets for my future. Ni semua setelah di'trigger' oleh Prof Hanafiah. Berwarna-warni jadinye muka surat terakhir dlm diari tu. Filled with my hopes and dreams mainly for myself and my family. Semoga Allah permudahkan...=)

Once I have them in my diary, makin kuat rasanya untuk appreciate my 3 years period.

Q: So, what is it for now?
A: Pegi study! sudah2 blogging tu......hik3..

okay!

Wednesday, 19 January 2011

Wanna come out with a new post. I want to write from my beloved 'Hotel' Mawar or at least the QS Department at FSPU. Tapi oleh kerana wifi coverage yg sakit2 di Mawar n tak pernah lg bawa laptop ke fac, maka bnyklah cerita yg terpendam. Kononnya mahu disimpan dan dikeluarkan waktu di rumah nanti tp bila sampai rumah, hbs hilang sume cerita. oH, akan diusahakan nanti, mahu menulis dlm mood yg betul2 sesuai.

Sunday, 16 January 2011

Tak tahu apa perasaan hari ni...
Alhamdulillah, tidak lagi dihurung sebak menyaksikan kelangsungan sesuatu yg dulu pernah buat sy sukar utk berhenti menangis...tp hampanya rasa bila melihat ada yg terlajak sejauh itu...Ya Allah, betul ke itu org yg sama seperti dua tahun lepas? Tak tahu bagaimana untuk bereaksi, akhirnya terilham rasa syukur kerana diselamatkan dari situasi sebegitu. Syukur sgt, tak sempat pergi sejauh itu.

Mengenali dan memahami rupa2nya terlalu rumit. Tak sangka sampai ke tahap ini manusia boleh berubah...atau mungkin bukan berubah, cuma menunjukkan diri yg sebenar...
Sakitnya hati bila rasa tertipu hanya Tuhan saja yg tahu. Syukur kini dilunakkan hati dgn kenalan2 baru...husna, maziah(kak yah), kak sya...kami bahagia mendaki bukit hari2 utk ke fakulti yg terlindung di celahan pokok2 besar. (hbs 3 thn blaja kt atas bukit ni ckuplah training utk daki everest kot..). sampai kelas je masing2 mula berkipas...hahha...

Hidup kembali terisi dan seimbang. Sungguh tak rugi melepaskan yang berlalu itu pergi. Sungguh tak rugi...sebab terlalu tnggi demand dan harga yg perlu dibayar utk satu komitmen yg entah berapa lama akan bertahan. Jijik sgt rasanya kalau semua tu diturutkan dahulu. Kalau itulah yg dimahukan sejak dulu, silalah cari dari yang lain. Sungguh, semua itu tak layak diberi apa2 lagi.

Now you see, how beautiful life is.....
HE takes away something when we thought we need it..but HE knows better that it is super-duper ridiculous and harmful...now only you know, Sri....
and look, HE gives you something more appreciable...

Nik Farah Husna, Norsyazana, Siti Maziah, Adibah, Nur Ashrafi, FSPU, AP 224, En. Ridza, Prof. Hanafiah, Pn. Mazzuana and few other lecturers, Amal, Naz, Rynn...............
.........and..........UiTM...
-ini warna2 baru dlm hidup saya..:-)-

Quote from Dato' VC;
"UiTM sentiasa di hatiku...UiTM mengalir dalam darahku....
cintaku, nyawaku, hidupku....adalah di UiTM.."

Masih terngiang2 applause yg sgt menggegar dewan sebaik kata2 ini diucapkan....ini Dato' VC yg cakap tau, bukan ayat rekaan.


Sunday, 9 January 2011

PROBLEMS AND PLEASURE

"Unrest of spirit is a mark of life
One problem after another presents itself
and in solving them we can find our greatest pleasure."
- Kal Menninger -

I'm thinking of writing more than just this quote but currently not so available in the aspects of time and focus to properly develop any thoughts or ideas. Got two assignments to be submitted next week and still in such a hurry to stabilize many things as a newly registered student.

Our greatest pleasure in solving problems...because we would finally realize the powerful strength that lies within ourselves...beneath the immobile fear of difficulties. So keep on moving forward...set yourself free of the fear that had been wrapping around your strength until you yourself couldn't see it. Unveil what's hidden inside...:-)

And of course what's inside and outside...all of them are HIS precious blessings upon us....:-) Value them...

Alhamdulillah for everything..=)))

Saturday, 1 January 2011

Khamis, 30 Disember 2010

Hari pertama 3 hari yang lalu, banyak didiamkan dek pelbagai lintasan hati dan minda. Syukur Alhamdulillah, gembira dapat kembali. Tapi banyak diam tu sebab cuba tanamkan dalam hati untuk sedar bahawa keadaan tak akan sama macam 2 tahun lepas.

Dulu mood freshie jelas terasa. Freshly graduated from school and I was not even 18 yet. Semuanya sangat mengujakan dua tahun lepas. Ingat lagi, sepanjang hari pendaftaran thn 2008 yg lalu…sangat murah dengan senyuman walaupun hari itu sangat meletihkan. Sujud syukur dgn hati yang terhias indah dengan pelbagai harapan dan impian mengakhiri hari itu.

Dulu aku dtg sebagai orang baru yang langsung tak kenal sesiapa di sini. Datang setakat nak meneruskan study ke peringkat yg lebih tinggi which is a very typical thought for a newcomer to ipt. Tapi sekarang sudah sangat lain. Sekarang datang untuk mengisi masa & hidup dengan sesuatu yang bermakna, sekaligus menyelamatkan diri dari rasa hambar dan kekosongan. Dtg untuk betulkan keadaan diri dan baiki hati. Sangat teringin untuk memiliki semula hati yang seperti dulu…last 2 years, I was WHOLE, complete! Sekarang bukan lagi begitu. Datang dengan sedikit kebimbangan, risau dan takut dengan kesilapan yang lalu, yang dah mengubah TERLALU BANYAK perkara dalam hidup, juga merubah diri..akhirnya kini jadi lebih ‘keras’. Hati tidak lagi fluffy dan lunak pada semua.

Tergagap waktu pertama kali menyanyi semula lagu Wawasan Setia Pelajar yang aku yakin dah hafal setiap hurufnya. Terasa makin ‘berat’ lagu tu. Mungkin melambangkan esok lusa dan hari2 sepanjang 3 tahun di sini nanti yg akan jd lebih sukar dari dulu. Biarlah, sekurang2nya aku tahu aku kini sedang merangka persiapan yang rasanya lebih baik dari dulu. Natijah di penghujung 3 tahun ini aku serahkan pada DIA untuk menentukan.

Banyak juga yang baru di sini. Selain bangunan makmal FKK yg letaknya bukan di engine complex S&T, terasa agak delighted bila mendengar tentang transkrip KI…

Hah?! Igtkan lepas berpisah dgn usim n Prof Karsono, dah kurangla sket dnga perkataan KI tu..rupanya kat sini lg mantop! Siap ada transkrip for KI you know??? Haha…I wish to know more about that tp disebabkan aku x-asasi yg xyah join MDS, rumate pun tak kejutla I utk turun pukul 5 pagi n pegi DSB pg ni utk dnga taklimat pasal KI tuh…xpela, Naz and Amal, mlm ni korang kena bg taklimat kt Sri..haha…

About roommates, well…so far we adapt well to each other. Gila2 gak la sumenye. Except for Amal yg agak matang n sejak malam pertama dah bertindak macam penasihat and kakakku. Banyak buat thoughts sharing, berkongsi pengalaman dan bertukar nasihat. Wah, sgt senang hati melihatkan mereka yg agak besar hati untuk belajar di sini. Harapnya kita semua akan kekal bersemangat mengejar cita2..:-)

*Menulis panjang2 sebab boring duk dlm bilik sorang2

*Happy 20th birthday to an Ir. to be, my kawan kt FKM, UiTM. Moga melimpah-limpah rezeki yg berkat buat kamu, bahagia dunia akhirat dan dikuatkan jiwa sentiasa.

12.55 p.m. 30.12.2010

Blok 1B, ‘Hotel’ Mawar, Shah Alam