Saturday, 24 July 2010

-'her' dilemma-

I guess she would never understand the aching rhythm of the empty hole...


Hurm...it was a blissful night with tranquil breeze of fragrant fresh air and the sky were so bright with moonlight and the dazzling stars. She sat there in front of the source of one's thought which was verbally delivered.


She was totally there for the first few moments, listening and focusing as the beauty of the knowledge and thoughts ascertained her about the truth of the most alienated way of life, as the soft voice convinced her about having the most wanted ending...


...and she was so thankful for having the chance to feel the smooth comforting touch on the cracked edges of her empty hole...again...beautiful!


But suddenly she felt the urgency to make others feel the touch
She felt the hopeful desire to reach one's heart with that similar touch
She lifted her eyes like she was searching for one bright face..

which was not there...

and she didn't have enough caurage to even dream about having that one soul for her to reach again...~sigh~

And there she stood, staring at the night sky...and started the loudest inaudible cry of disappointment... and gratitude...

"I know this is wonderful enough...for my heart is again dewed with the sense of worshiping from the very deep core of me...for my mind is trying hardly to follow the path shown..."

but couldn't she just have that one's hand so that she would easily know how that one's soul is doing?

couldn't she just beg for the companion?

couldn't she just try to pull that someone's hand out of those deceiving and blinding bright rays?

she desperately wanted to be safe...but she couldn't stand leaving that one soul unsafe...and that'll be too risky for her...

and she really had to move on...

despite the reluctance to let go of that one last thought.....

"Ya Allahal Hafiiz, Ya Muhaimin, Ya Muqallibal quluub....."

"Hanya padaMu selayaknya segala urusan itu diserahkan...iringilah pemeliharaanMu ke atas urusan2 yang tak mampu kami sempurnakan...takdirkanlah kesudahan yang terbaik bagi kami......."

....................................silence.......................

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