Sunday, 14 February 2010

ANOTHER PATHETIC VOICE

Afraid of lose control...I'm on the extreme peak of furiousness.
Ketakutan2 ini:
lose in self confidence, jealousy, putus asa, malas...
Self confidence...I thought of it...as the biggest obstacle in my life since I was in my upper secondary school. A real bad situation when it feels like we are at the bottom among others. It seems that we never realize about our strengths, abilities...and when it comes to the thoughts of expressing ourselves, suddenly...
"No, I can't do this..."
"Oh, I'm no better than her/him"
But I've learned so much about this during my foundation year although it's a bit late for me to figure out the potentials and qualities within myself.
Thanks to the good teasers and criticizers at UiTM. You guys were helping a lot...and thanks to a person who used to be very close to me..the one I'm losing now, who'd taught me so much about self-confidence...it's not losing...I'd lost it!
Truly sad and disappointed. I've no idea why I feel like I really need this person...still. May Allah bless u.
And jealousy may sometimes be good, but it's often an illness la...tkt if smpai ke thp ad inferior utk tngok org lain 'naik'. It's not good to be like this Sri Sazila...
But just...
oh look at her..she's so good, so smart, outstanding and somewhat pretty! it's like...no way I can beat her..
"Okay2...fine! let her be with her glorious life...and you are to build a strong determination in your life Sri...and maybe you should stop making the comparison.
Who ask you to beat her?. Just be the heroin in your very own life story, protagonist! Do your part well..."
Beware of jealousy. It may sometimes drive away your sincerity.
It's time for me being tested with my words, I mean, what I used to say before.
"Nobody's perfect. We're the best in our very own way."
"Semua manusia yg Allah cipta ni cantik2 n hensem2 blake"
Putus asa, malas...Disastrous attitudeS!
"Kalau kita putus asa kan, tu sme mcm putus harapan dgn Allah kan? Org Islam mana bleh putus asa..."
Tp kita ni kdg2 cuma tau ckp je.
I'd never imagined how hard it is to make all the words that come from my mouth worth more than just a saying. It's really hard.
People used to say...
"Awak ni tabah...kagum la..."
...so make it real, Sri...
....xkanla hanya dgn satu peristiwa, kamu terus mahu meletakkan diri di tempat yang plg bawah? Lupa ke pada kekuasaan Allah? Lupa ke yg DIA tu sgt sayang pd semua hamba2Nya?....
*Muhasabah*
knp jd begini?
knp rse mcm ni?
ke mana perginye barakah dlm hidup ni?
ujian....kifarah???

6 comments:

Jackal de Howling Wolf said...

same probs here..rasa macam hilang apa yg dicari slama ni..

sri sazila said...

apela agaknye yg dicari tu ek...btul x ap yg ila ckp kt mak hr tu...ad org tu bz cr duit sbb....hehe...

sri sazila said...

apela agaknye yg dicari tu ek...btul x ap yg ila ckp kt mak hr tu...ad org tu bz cr duit sbb....hehe...

Jackal de Howling Wolf said...

cari ape my little ustazah??mana de bz cari duit. kalau bz cari duit smpi x de rase sakinah & barakah dlm hidup pn x gune. maybe missing someone???

sri sazila said...

sumone??? hik3...

Jackal de Howling Wolf said...

rasenyerla...x pn rindu kat rg125wolf yg pak ngah jual tu..