Saturday, 24 October 2009

~nothingness~

I can't stop thinking about her!
jealousy is on the air......seriously!
she's too good....
she's so smart...
and I'm still hardly trying to make a whole new structure of a positive attitude....

I'm so....................................................

hurm...
it's ok kot sri....
just be urself
and try to be better...
sume org ad kelebihan n kelemahan masing2 kn?

raya FST

Syawal dah berlalu....Deepavali pun tinggal kenangan(ceh!)
Tp bru hr ni la keje2 mengupload gmba ni berjalan dgn lancar. Nothing much to say but these are few pics on Hari Raya Gathering for all FST students and staffs.

Well, lets start...
Hurm...these are the vibrant colours of the air that I'm breathing in at USIM. My dear classmates, my family....luv them so much taw!


Actually the gathering was held right after Dean's Award Ceremony. Hari yg same..I was in DKF 1.2 from 8 a.m. and then trus lari pg foyer FST lps hbs majlis tu. Tidak kusangka, rupa2nya Abg Qayum nk sy jd MC for both events...Dean's Award Ceremony and the gathering...tp sape sruh xnak ckp awal2 utk gathering tu...mcm nak membunuh je bgtau last minute kan...For the gathering, sy jz alu2kan ketibaan Dean and lecturers and sempatla membebel sekejap sbgai warm up. Then I left the mic to the secretariat. Lg pun, I think such event don't really need me to be the MC...ckupla dgn mereka2 yg handle all the games utk memeriahkan suasana...sbb lain.....hehe...nk mkn rmai2 dgn all my classmates la...mls mau terikat dgn mic..(sungguh jahat)



lihatlah muke hafiz yg 'garang'...dy nih abg long dlm kls ktorang...sibuk nk ngaco org amk gmba dgn adda...


ini tanggang n family...acting is fun!
bersama anak2 n menantuku...mansuriah n mansur with his 'wife', maryam...(bkn nme sbnr)







my fav pic!




masing2 pose conrol comel padahal time makan punyela.....hai....



ha....at the end, this is our pose dgn senior2 kami....Dorang ni s2dent 2nd year..They all la pioneer utk prog Applied Physics kt USIM nih...

okeh...da ckp da mls nak tulis pnjang2.

Saturday, 17 October 2009

~THEATRE.....OH...teater~

dari pencinta taekwondo, beralih arah pd teater....
gara2 kaki yg injured...dan sgt2 terbatas utk menendang, menyepak terajang sume tuh....
even main badminton pun kene stop bnyk kali coz sometimes urat rasa mcm nak putus!
Maka beralih la sri sazila ke bidang seni.....lalala~
(it's time to be lemah lembut sket kot....)

Hey, I'm taking Theatre, CDA....(ntah ap code dy, dah lupe....) just for my co-curriculum course. Actually rasa mcm nak join kor suksis tp apekan daya....kakiku ini....sgt ngeri la dgn aktvt2 lasak...Maka jadilah saya seorang pelajar kpd Cikgu Along n Cikgu Fazreen tersayang....haha..

Yeah, sometimes I do enjoy the course. For final assessment, of coz la we need to get involve in a theatre production. Erk...not really, we gonna have a competition. And guess what, instead of being the MC, I suddenly need to act!

Maria....oh....Aleeya....

between these two characters, I need to choose one.
mulenye dorng sruh blakon jd Aleeya but since that it's really2 hard for me to do the pandang-memandang, tenung2, bertentang mata tahap jewang teramat punye scene....(I alwiz close my eyes when it comes to that 'favourite' scene...)then suddenly pemegang watak Maria yg asal called me this morning and asked me to be Maria....seorang isteri nusyuz...WAH!!!....na'udzubillah in real life.
(Better kot drpd kene tenung mata org lain...nt jealous I punye husband tau...(sape ntah)...PLUS, mmg xpnh buat keje gile tuh n sgt malu la!!!)

Dunno lah.....
well, can I just quit and decide to be the MC for that day....xyah blakon!
tp kesian sama my grup member la....lg pun, asyik muka ni je la pulak yg m'bebel dlm mjlis kt usim tuh....for now, mybe it's enough with the Dean's Award Ceremony and FST Raya Gathering..(since when la sri sazila jd gile mic ni...). Xde mknenye la nak sruh sri sazila join ATRA ye kwn2...

Tomorrow may be our final casting session with Cikgu Along. We r supposed to have a practice session this evening but suddenly the hero(Amin) can't turn out. So, I decided to stay a bit longer at home(Cheras)...and guys, see u tonight!

p/s: waiting for 'jampi' doc 2 be utk bg kaki ni baik....merepek saje lah si abdul sorang tu.

LET IT GO

It’s just too easy to sympathize and to love others but it seems difficult for me to trust a person. I keep comforting myself with all the concerns I got from this person but the other half of me is fighting against all the seducing voices from both inside and outside.

Well, I told myself again and again that this is just too early to happen….and just let it buried forever?!

Hurm…I think I’ll need a very long time to consider all these things. How I wish I could easily scream out to all that I really don’t want to lose any part of this. But for now, to let it go may be a great decision. Definitely, I’ll be missing it but I just have to…as I need time to trust a person and I don’t have the gut to let ‘the person’ intruding my life for any further.

Always with hopes, I keep moving forward….filling my life with laughter and tears with other important characters while collecting maximum strength to keep smiling in the gloomy air because nobody is going to tell me for how long I should wait…and I’m not sure whether I really need to wait or just to bid farewell.

Trying not to think about this is not easy…

I’m now struggling hard enough to keep in mind that HE always has plans for me. PLUS, study is my priority and there are so many things to be improved before I really let myself be in the sweetness of this part of sunnatullah....

....al-hubb min fitratil insaan...

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

~negative mode~

[Well, this is just a negative mode of writing...]

Again, worrying about Modern Physics... without any lecture notes and we, the whole class are still very hardly trying to really get ourselves into the lesson. Final paper is just within two weeks! I'm nearly give up all hopes.....spritually broken!

NOPE!! Don't!

I’m cruelly pushing my emotion to be in just an ideal mood of studying. But….oh, no! I hate it when I suddenly burst into tears. When this happened, I could no longer think about anything!

..I hate tears…

But I just can’t stop worrying about things that I’ve been wondering for so long.
My destiny…
Goals…
Study…
FINAL EXAM!!!....
Theatre…
And….hurmmm…

*I’m telling you again that this is just a negative mode of writing.

I’d never wish to let myself drowning in floods of tears. I’m so small…weak…EMPTY. It's rather difficult to convince myself about my strength and ability than to convince others about theirs

It’s easy to just talk about gratitude but it’s hard to implement the value. It’s a pleasure when I trust all HIS promises but it sweats me a lot! Sometimes, we are not patient enough in waiting for something precious.

*confused*

p/s: I've told you that this is just a negative mode of writing.

Thursday, 1 October 2009

A HOPE

[post yg kurang terarah]

*killing a hope*
When I used thiS as my status message(ym), a friend of mine immediately asked
"are u ok?"
and that person made me smile again with two magic words
'KEEP SMILING'
I guess I still remember how to smile...hik3...
Glad to do that....
(tq my fren)

KILLING A HOPE??!
what hope, sri?

A hope that everything i own will remain as mine forever....
-impossible!

A hope that there will always someone to lend a shoulder for me to cry on...
-impossible?? erk...we'll see...

A hope that something that I want so much will be in my possession....soon...
-UNCERTAIN!

A hope to always be in positive mode of thinking....
-yeah, I should try....

A hope to do my best for all people that I love so much...
-I'm still trying...

I used to talk about these things...
dlm dunia ni xde pape pun yg kekal...

I'm trying my best to appreciate every single thing. The biggest hope that I'm having right now is to make all relationships as beneficial as possible. I want to be 'their' friend....in this world and hereafter...
'kalau pun bkn di dunia...semoga Dia izinkan kita semua untuk sama2 melangkah dan hidup bahagia dlm kenikmatan yg kekal di akhirat nt...'

'What a friend for?'
utk apa if xde satu pun kebaikan yg boleh diberi pada seorang kawan...

Rse2nye apa lagi yang memungkinkan saya untuk sentiasa bertanya tentang ibadat, hidup, dan iman mereka..... kalau bukan kerana sayang??
I don't want any of us to be in risky situations. I love all of you!
And help me as well....I'm not that strong......

Dear Allah....You are the best to know how much I love them....Please, give us Your guidance. Bless us with Your perfect love....

[don't know what I'm talking about..]