Friday, 18 September 2009

A short break

Crying it out…again and again… I know that I’m still uncertain about this part of my life. I’m just an ordinary girl alias woman to be. Sometimes, I think that I’m strong enough to deny and just ignore the biggest desire from deep within this soul of emptiness. Yet, some other times…including at this moment…I have to admit that I’m so fragile!


I’m trying to get rid of it…simply said, for the sake of mardhatillah. I can’t stand for any longer being far apart from Him. ‘That thing’… I don’t know what role does it plays in my life. At first, I felt that I was pretty well energized by its emergence. I thought that ‘we’ were trying to guide each other to ‘somewhere’. But somehow, now... I realize that I'm not going anywhere except walking further apart from the purest serenity. Then only I tell my mind that I'm afraid of that ‘happiness’ even I know that I want it so much!


Enough is enough. I'm pretty tired of trying to 'tahsin' and 'taslih' the path that we're taking. But maybe I'm not good enough to do this. I've to walk away no matter how reluctant I am. I'm hoping for someone else out there to take a very good care of some'thing' that can no longer be my priority. Still, my prayer will always be around. And now, one of the things that I need to teach myself is how to be patient. I believe that it will soon be mine. Just a little more patience in this great battle of the soul to make a peace inside....hmmm...



sigh? smile?
~~~SMILE~~~SIGH~~~ both!

Plus...be prepared, Sri! A pleasure always comes with responsibilities...ehm...


p/s: give me a break...

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