Thursday, 21 September 2017

Perasan

I somehow know what you might be thinking.

No worries bro.
You don't have to feel affected by the storm that hits me.
You don't have to be dragged into it.
Thus, there's no need to be so provocative and repelling just to feel safe and undisturbed.

Because for a woman like me, bukan semua yang hilang perlu segera diganti.

I won't touch a single inch of what is yours. If you feel so, that is your problem not mine.

Saturday, 9 September 2017

Inspektor Jadian

You did it again.

Starting from meneka nama. Asal usul.

Berterusan dgn killer questions yg kebanyakannya aku tak mampu nak jawab.

Again, tak faham kenapa busybody sangat kau ni. Hahah.

While the rest just kept quiet, kau terus belagak mcm polis pencen. Paksa tertuduh mengaku bersalah.
Yg terbeban berat kau paksa luahkan. Memaksa dgn cara yg aku tak pernah terbayang ada manusia mampu buat mcm tu kt aku.

In a way, maybe it is a bless to have a friend who cares. But for what?

Although banyak soalan yg aku masih mampu berdalih drpd menjawab, but your psychic talent was still, depressing. Haha.

But at the end of it, you gave a very suspicious statement. Igtkan aku sorang yg sedar... Tapi manusia berempat yg semuanya diam menjadi saksi tu pun masing2 sedar and raise it up as an issue when you are not around.

Right after it ended, aku menangis dlm kereta. Sbb some of your questions, I really wish I could answer honestly. Those are the things that I really wanted to share. Tapi aku tak mampu, walaupun kau cukup hebat bermain psikologi.

Cukuplah dik, janganlah seksa mental akak mcm ni lagi. Lama2 aku duduk dgn kau ni mmg boleh punah ranah segala rahsia.

Friday, 25 August 2017

Embun

Tajam sungguh kamu ber'Embun'.

People are giving me so much hints.
But why cant I hear it for real?

Ya, mungkin terlalu detail jawapan yg aku bg utk soalan kamu dulu. A very lengthy description.

Tapi kamu juga yg kata,
"put a benchmark, decide whether it is or it isn't..tapi semua pun kerja Allah, kena redha dgn apa yg Dia tentukan"

*****

Meanwhile, I keep on longing for another.

Entahlah..

Parah benor rsenye.

Tak jugak..

I'm ok... I am still ok.
Masih waras, masih mampu kawal diri, masih mampu pelihara harga diri.

Cuma deep inside, despite realizing that the hopes are becoming lesser everyday, I still wish to make this one, a lasting one.

Sometimes, kita say no to segala kelebihan yg tak mampu dihargai, and we say 'please' to segala kekurangan yg kita mahu terima seikhlas hati.

For that, I thank Allah... for making us unable to predict, so that in time like this, we'll have no other choices than to stay close to HIM.

It's a way of Allah saving His slaves also. Alhamdulillah.